Latest Celebrity Gossip

Mother gave me a bunch of National Enquirers, so I'm catching up on the latest celebrity gossip:

Sandra Bullock is dipping snuff!  (Bet she picked up that disgusting habit from her silly ex-husband, Jesse James.)

Angelina Jolie is furious (waving her tattooed, stick-like, arms, no doubt).  Brad Pitt is smoking pot most afternoons  in a dirty Airstream trailer near the back of their estate.  He says it helps him relax after a hard day on the set.  "You are setting a bad example for the kids!" she screamed.  (She's a fine one to talk!)

Johnny Depp is up in arms over a tell-all book ex-girlfriend Kate Moss is writing.  He doesn't want his kids to know about his wild, drug-fueled days.  (Don't blame you one bit, Johnny!)

Leann Rhines is scary skinny these days.  Friends say the singer's weight has dropped to 99 lbs.  (Maybe she's worried about her career; she hasn't had a hit in ages.)   

At the other end of the the spectrum is James Brolin's youngest son.  He weighs 300 lbs. and is living in shelters, staying with friends, or sleeping in his beat-up '81 Toyota pickup on the streets of Ventura, California.  (Seems to me his father could talk step-mother Barbra Streisand into finding room for the poor boy on one of her estates!)   

Elizabeth Taylor's eldest son, Michael, is having a hissy fit about his mother's house.  He thinks her estate dumped the house for a quick payoff.  (They got eight million for it, and he and his three siblings will get a whopping one hundred million dollars apiece.  What more does he want?)

Teen heartthrob Justin Bieber is shelling out around $15,000 a week on dinners and entertainment for his huge entourage of friends.  (His mother needs to get that boy under control!) 

Cher is afraid son Chaz is going to have a heart attack.  He has lost forty pounds and is doing three-hour workouts at the gym each day in preparation for his wedding in early 2012.  (Good luck, Chaz.  Looks like you're got a long way to go!)

Marie Osmond is having throat problems, so brother Donnie sang one of her signature hits dressed in drag as his sister.  (That's pretty strong stuff for a Mormon!)

Al Pacino, of The Godfather and Scarface fame, is all set to play record producer Phil Spector in an upcoming HBO biography.  He is already sporting Spector's wild, ratted-up hairdo.  (Can you imagine that?)

Kathy Griffin called Michelle Bachman a bigot.  (I wonder why? :)