Last week, Mother gave me a big stack of National Enquirers. I've only had time to read one, but I've learned some interesting celebrity gossip.
O. J. Simpson is having problems. His cellmate at Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada is scaring the daylights out of him.
"He's nuts!" O. J. squalled to a close friend, "He's a killer and a rapist, and he told me he hates my guts because I got away with murdering my ex-wife!" He went on to say his cellmate glares at him all the time, and now he's afraid to go to bed. "He told me he's going to strangle me in my sleep the first chance he gets!"
What a pity.
Remember Shelley Duvall, Jack Nicholson's reed-thin wife in The Shining? She lives in Blanco, Texas, and wanders around town by herself, looking disheveled and strange. She has gained 75 pounds, and dresses in odd, mismatched, hippie-ish clothing, her wild gray hair knotted in tie-dyed scrunchies. And she says she communicates with aliens.
Larry King's wife, Shawn, has had divorce papers drawn up, and she says one false move from Larry and that will be it.
One false move from Larry? Seems to me she has been making the false moves. Larry caught her cheating with their sons' baseball coach. But she denies it, saying Larry is the one who has been cheating.
I'll bet Larry's suspenders are in a wad.